The 39 Clues: Poems
by Arashi Nao
Summary: Eh, at first this was just a poem about Irina and Nikolai but, I started writing more poems and I thought it would be stupid to make a new story for each of them, so now this became a collection of poems based on the 39 clues! Eh please don't wait to see any Amy X Ian stuff... anyway, I hope you enjoy them! Latest one: Punishment
1. Irina's song

Have I ever lied to you?  
Have I ever hid the truth?

I only asked you to wait for two days  
But no. You left me, lost in a shadowy haze

Back I came, but you were gone  
And I completely came undone

I made a promise, and I kept it  
But you left me, and now my heart's all cold and empty

Now your room's all empty and hollow  
And my soul is filled with sorrow

If you could come back and see,  
you would not recognize me

I've changed, maybe to the worst, I don't know  
But I know why and how

I always gave you what you wanted  
You always said you loved me, but it seems you lied...

It seems that you hated me  
What other reason did you have for leaving me?

The bullets and the wounds never made me cry  
But _you _managed it. You made me cry like a child

And now, I sit by your grave  
And I see how sunny and warm is the day

And I wish that once again,  
we could be together and play

As we did when you were younger  
The days then seemed so much brighter

But no, all those belong to the past  
I have to overcome it, despite the void is vast

And as you turned your back on me,  
I can't turn my back on you

I always kept the promises I made  
And even if I wont fulfill all the others, this one I will keep till the end:

_**I will never stop loving you...**_

* * *

**So, yeah, long ago up until now I wanted to write a poem about how Irina feels when she loses her son. Sad, I know. So I wrote that.  
**

**Well, on that lil' poem of mine, Irina 'scolds' her son, because she believes she left her in purpose, she is very confused, she doesn't know why did this had to happen to her, and all those dramatic things. But even though she scolds at him for leaving her, at the end she admits that she cannot stop loving him, since he is her beloved son, and that long ago she had promised not to stop loving him... and thats it:) I hope u like it:) (I cried a bit when writing this XD)**

**~Kat**

**(and yes I named the 1st -well, and only- chapter 'Irina's song' because I think the title is kinda suitable:) )**


	2. Punishment

**Well this one popped inside my head while listening to the song 'Secrets' by Maria Mena. On a lyric it said 'and the punishment begin', I suddenly thought of one or two lyrics for this poem and... eh, 10 minutes later, this was born. Anyway, the lyrics mostly rhyme, except from 1 or 2 exceptions^^ oh, and, the rythm/beat/ way to sing or read it/ whatever you wanna call it goes like the song I referred above. So if you don't know the song, but want to sing the poem, I would suggest you listen to it:) it is a nice song, really:) anyway on with the poem. Please read and I hope you enjoy it^^**

**Umm... it is a quite long poem too...^^;**

_**Punishment**_

_I look around,_

_I only see a set of walls_

_I try to cry out_

_But no voice exits my throat_

_I am trapped, doomed to die,_

_All I lived for was a lie_

_I am tired, I'm giving in_

_And the punishment begins_

_Everywhere I try to hide,_

_There will be a spark to ignite_

_All the pain of memories_

_And my punishment begins._

_There is no hope anymore_

_There is no reason to try_

_All I lived for was a lie_

_So I finally give in,_

_I let my punishment begin_

_I will try, I will be strong_

_That is what I tell myself_

_I have no one I have no friends_

_I am trapped within myself_

_Once there was a bright light_

_Helping me hold onto life_

_But now everything had faded _

_And my punishment begun_

_As I look up at the sky_

_I can never see the light_

_I can never breath the air,_

_I can only cry forever..._

_There is no hope in the sun_

_The moon, the thunder or the stars_

_All I have are bleeding scars_

_My punishment have begun_

_It just hurts so much to see_

_all the happiness around_

_for me it all had died out_

_far before it even started_

_I just wish I could let go,_

_there's no reason anymore_

_for me to stay and pray_

_since there is no hope today_

_All I knew had died out_

_all my family is gone_

_and the pain is just too strong_

_I don't want to suffer more_

_A weak voice calling my name_

_this is all that I recall_

_''Mother'' he called me once_

_but I did not deserved him_

_Was I too weak to protect_

_neither could I defend,_

_and I lost him far to early_

_I just couldn't change the loss..._

_And my punishment is worth_

_I deserve the agony_

_because I wasn't there for him_

_I deserve to be abused_

_I deserved to die like that_

_The flames had now faded to sparks_

_and my body lies there_

_but my soul is like the air_

_I can now be next to him_

_I can now hold his hand_

_I deserved to die like_ _that  
_

_Since I now feel no hurt..._

_And my punishment has finally stopped..._

* * *

**Depressing, much? Yes I know... but for some reason I can rarely write something happy! Despite I am a really happy and smiley person in real life, I always write the sad stuff:( I don't get why but... eh... I guess that... well... no I don't guess anything because I have no idea why this happens XD**

**Anyway, if you did not understood, the poem is about Irina Spasky. You know, how she was hurt by the loss of her son, how she tried but could not overcome it, how she felt in all and, eventually, how she died, but she's happy about that because she can be with her son now. I must admit this is one of the first times I ever dared to write something in which Irina actually dies... oh my... I am scaring me... not to mention that the thought of Irina being dead, you know, just lying there and... eww... makes me wanna throw up because... because yeah she was actually all BURNED?! Uhh... I am trying not to think of it...**

**Oh well... this is it, I hope you liked it^^ Please leave a review, I am here to improve, so your advice is really valuable to me!^^ Thank you for reading! **

**Katja**


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